So, for reasons not relating to New Zealand in any way and therefore technically inappropriate for discussion in this space, everything is terrible.

(In case you hadn’t gathered yet, one of the leitmotifs of my life is a constant variation on “everything is terrible.”)

Because of a combination of a) not being able to take more than three classes while here b) not taking any classes that would contribute in any way to my degree’s breadth requirements and most importantly c) doing what I could to enjoy the past for years of my education rather than taking a bunch of required courses deemed necessary for a well-rounded education (I’m being snarky but this completely makes sense. I’m just annoyed) I still have about six required classes left to get my degree.

Well, technically five. Gym is hardly a real class.

So, theoretically I could fit all six required courses into the next semester, but one of them would be a lab science (very time consuming) and one would be statistics (boring and requiring of a lot of study time from people like me who are terrible with math). Time consuming wouldn’t be unacceptable but I’ve spent the last semester planning (or alternately stressing about lack of concrete planning done) for time consuming creative projects.

Which means it looks like I’ll be in school for an extra semester.

This SHOULD be no big deal. If I break things up this semester then my extra semester should be pretty light–light enough for me to at least audit something that would make me want to drown things significantly less than lab sciences and statistics and things like that. And theoretically there’s no shame in saying “I had to take an extra semester because (not surprisingly) when I was 18 I barely knew what I liked in general let alone what I wanted to study for the next four years, so I just took a bunch of random classes for fun. After that each semester I decided it would be a good idea to take something just because it interested me rather than because it would contribute to my degree so as a result I know a lot of stuff about philosophy and can sort of speak French but I won’t be graduating on time.”

There’s still a lot of shame-based stuff that goes along with this for me, though. Because it’s me and I’m a largely shame-based entity. Lots of “I used to be really good at this whole school thing, what happened there?” and the ever-important, ever-present “I used to be really good at this whole school thing but I suck at it now. So what am I good at? Am I good at anything anymore?” sort of freak-out. “Does not having this stuff done yet mean I’m lazy?” “Does not having this stuff done yet mean I’m stupid?” (No, it doesn’t. It DOES mean I’m lazy, though. Possibly.)

And of course it just generally sucks that I won’t be able to take part in the end of year celebrations with my friends. The other leitmotif: “Why does it seem like I’m at least three steps behind everyone I know?”

In summation, I have a lot of problems that aren’t real problems but ARE things that I feel justified complaining about even though I shouldn’t (feel justified, that is). If only I had two tiny Liam Lynch cowboy-ish guys to help solve all my stupid fake problems…

So obviously this isn’t a real update and I’ll give anyone who might be reading this one later. Suffice it to say my stay in New Zealand is coming to a close and I’m beginning to feel wistful and reflective.

And Halloween happened and I sort of missed it. So if anyone reads this: tell me about your Halloween! Was it like this?:

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