Things are about to start getting weird for me. Very, very weird. (So be pleased, I will stop writing about things that I really enjoy i.e. rambling about The Daily Show or making joke lists of things or imaging conversations and go back to writing about the many and varied things that make me totally uncomfortable.)

Basically, what happened was this:

I got very, very sick of having absolutely no friends (except for the two girls in different tutorials who I will occasionally make polite small talk with…though they hardly count as friends). So I did a VERY not-me-ish thing and decided it would be a good idea to put an “I am a loser who desperately needs friends please will someone please PLEASE talk to me if only so I can make sure my vocal chords do actually still work?” ad on what is basically the international equivalent of Craigslist.

(I friend-prostituted myself out, is what I am saying.)

Shockingly, out of the seven or so responses I got, only one was an out-and-out proposition for sex (and what a hilarious proposition it was–it involved rhyme!)

Frankly, it’s shocking that I got a response at all–the ad was about two sentences long, and the second was just a rambling statement about how the fact that people actually use skateboards for transportation here surprises me.

I’m a bit wary of the respondents (I’m wary of certain rhyming men who advertise themselves as “skilled in the art of massage” for obvious reasons). I feel like a big, old-fashioned sexist here but I’ve heard back from one girl and the fact that the rest of them are men reads to me to be a bit “I am expecting a blind date”-ish to me. As someone who generally gets along better with men than women I’m more than a little bit shocked at my own assumption that a man certainly wouldn’t just want to be FRIENDS with a woman.

I’ve responded with varying degrees of “let’s talk some more I want to be friends possibly”-ness, ranging from “you sound fun” sort of bland but friendly statements to “Sorry I’m not interested in anything sexual at the moment. Good luck, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding a woman given your obvious talents” and apparently I am now setting up a friend date with the lady respondent.

She seems to have a collection of international friends who do a pub quiz together every week. She likes good TV and wearing hats. I’ll be joining a group automatically for the friend date, which frankly is a great, low-pressure idea.

It’s actually a little more nerve-wracking than any of the normal dates I’ve been on (that said I hate dating and avoid it whenever possible, so that number is thankfully very low and generally involved people I already knew outside of a few emails).

In other news, I apparently laughed enough (or loudly enough) during New Media today while we were watching the Steve Balmer “Developers!” video to warrant some attention from my seven year-old professor, who went on to show the Star Wars Kid video, first asking “Has anyone seen this? I bet YOU have” while pointing directly at me. Yes, sir, you’ve got me pegged: I spend 90% of my time watching viral videos.

It’s a shame, really, because he runs all the tutorials as well and he kept bringing up how sick he is. I’d sort of thought out loud to my flatmates that I should give him my remaining dissolvable vitamin C Emergen-C knock-off tablets as a gift, which they said would be very, very weird (which is probably true). But had I known then that he and I share a deep, psychological connection based entirely around our shared enjoyment of specific viral videos, I DEFINITELY would have brought it for him. Certain things have suggested to me that we also have a shared interested in Vanilla Coke, googling the United Colors of Benneton ads, pictures from the 1800s, and horns-based, hip hop-influenced electropop and/or Fats Waller (one of which he generally plays over loudspeakers before lectures start)…this is clearly a best friendship waiting to happen.

The exciting results of my weekend jaunt through town were naught. I was too sick to be interested in anything I saw and spent most of the weekend watching North & South, which if you like pseudo-political Victorian love stories is very good (despite the disgustingly lack of emotional repression display at the end). The beginning is basically a parody of itself, though. A lot of Victorian romances begin with misunderstanding between the couple (i.e. Elizabeth overhears Darcy saying she isn’t so great looking and the like). North & South begins with its main character, Margaret Hale, visiting a cotton mill where she sees but does not know the context of her romantic interest literally beating one of his workers before throwing him out. It was more than a little difficult not to laugh

It starred Richard Armitage, which I imagine happens a lot when you’re making a British period piece and you say to yourself “well I’d really like to get Sean Bean, but if possible I’d like someone who looks like a more sinister Sean Bean.” The result is as follows:

Sean Bean presumably in something from the Sharpe series

Sean Bean presumably in something from the Sharpe series

Richard Armitage in what the Robin Hood producers

Richard Armitage in what the producers of Robin Hood believe to be a period-appropriate costume.

I’d like to end it there, but it’s impossible to mention Sean Bean without sharing the absolute beauty of this image:

you've got to throw some jazz fusion in there, too.

you've got to throw some jazz fusion in there, too.